Most confusion on gay dating apps comes from about thirty terms. Below are the ones that actually appear in UK profiles and messages, grouped by what they describe: what someone is looking for, how they describe themselves, and safety or health language. Where a term is contested or has fallen out of favour, that is noted rather than glossed over.
- Terms vary regionally and by generation — if you are unsure what someone means, asking is normal.
- Some words in wide use are considered outdated or offensive by many; those are flagged.
- Nobody is required to label themselves at all.
As of 13 August 2026, Fab Guys has 129 active profiles in the UK, of which 80 were online in the last few minutes. The median age is 36 and 16% have a verified photo. Messaging is free.
Figures are read directly from the live database at page load and are not rounded up.
What someone is looking for
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Chat only | Conversation, not looking to meet |
| Friends / mates | Platonic; social rather than romantic or sexual |
| Dates | Open to dating properly, not just meeting up |
| LTR | Long-term relationship |
| Right now / now | Available to meet imminently |
| NSA | No strings attached — casual, no expectation of continuation |
| FWB | Friends with benefits — ongoing casual with someone you know |
| Open to whatever | No fixed intent; often means “will decide when I meet you” |
| Discreet | Not out, or wanting privacy — see the note below |
How people describe themselves
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Top / bottom / versatile (vers) | Sexual role preference; “vers” means comfortable with either |
| Side | Not into penetrative sex; a recognised preference, increasingly stated openly |
| Masc / fem | Masculine or feminine presenting. “Masc4masc” is common and widely criticised as femmephobic |
| Bear | Larger, often hairier man; long-established subculture with its own scene |
| Otter | Slimmer and hairy |
| Cub | Younger or smaller bear |
| Twink | Younger, slim, typically less hairy |
| Daddy | Older, often used to signal dynamic rather than literal age |
| Jock | Athletic build, sporty |
| Poz / neg | HIV-positive / HIV-negative |
| Out / closeted | Whether someone is open about their sexuality |
| Bi-curious | Exploring attraction to the same sex |
Safety and health language
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| U=U | Undetectable equals untransmittable — see U=U explained |
| PrEP | Medication taken to prevent HIV; free on the NHS — see the PrEP guide |
| PEP | Emergency medication after possible HIV exposure; time-critical, within 72 hours |
| Verified | Passed a photo check — confirms the photos are theirs, nothing more |
| Catfish | Someone using another person’s photos — see how to spot a catfish |
| Sextortion | Blackmail over intimate images — see what to do |
| Ghosting | Ending contact without explanation |
| Love-bombing | Intense affection very early; a recognised manipulation pattern |
Terms worth retiring
- “Clean” to mean HIV-negative. It implies the opposite about people living with HIV and is widely considered stigmatising. “Negative” or “neg” says the same thing without the implication.
- “No fems, no Asians” and similar. Framed as preference, read as prejudice by most people, and increasingly against platform rules.
- “Straight-acting”. Implies masculinity belongs to straight men.
On “discreet”
Used both by people who are not out — a legitimate and often safety-related position — and sometimes by people concealing a partner. The word itself tells you neither. If it matters to you, it is a reasonable thing to ask about directly. See staying discreet while dating.
Frequently asked questions
What does vers mean?
Versatile — comfortable with either sexual role rather than exclusively top or bottom. “Vers top” and “vers bottom” indicate a preference while remaining flexible.
What does side mean on a gay dating profile?
Someone who does not engage in penetrative sex. It is a recognised preference that has become far more openly stated in recent years.
What is masc4masc, and why is it controversial?
Masculine men seeking masculine men. It is criticised as femmephobic — treating masculinity as a requirement and implying femininity is a defect — and is one of the more contested conventions on apps.
Why shouldn’t I say “clean” for HIV-negative?
Because it implies people living with HIV are unclean. “Negative” conveys exactly the same information without the stigma, which matters because stigma discourages testing.
What does U=U mean?
Undetectable equals untransmittable: someone with HIV on effective treatment with a sustained undetectable viral load cannot pass it on sexually. It is established NHS and clinical consensus.
Do I have to use any of these labels?
No. Plenty of profiles use none of them. They are shorthand that some people find useful for filtering, not a requirement.