Romance fraud follows a fixed sequence: contact, rapport, isolation, a story, a request. The money is never asked for early — that is the point. By the time it arrives, weeks of investment make refusing feel like abandoning someone. Recognising the sequence is far more useful than trying to spot a “type” of person.
- The defining moment is any request for money, gift cards or crypto from someone you have not met.
- Gay and bisexual men face an extra lever: the threat of being outed, used as leverage or as the whole scam.
- Report to Action Fraud. If you have paid, contact your bank immediately — speed affects reimbursement.
- Never send more money to recover money. Recovery fraud targets people who have already lost some.
As of 13 August 2026, Fab Guys has 129 active profiles in the UK, of which 80 were online in the last few minutes. The median age is 36 and 16% have a verified photo. Messaging is free.
Figures are read directly from the live database at page load and are not rounded up.
The five stages
| Stage | What it looks like | Typical timing |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Contact | Attractive profile, quick warm response | Day 1 |
| 2. Rapport | Constant messaging, fast emotional escalation | Week 1–2 |
| 3. Isolation | Move to WhatsApp or Telegram, away from moderation | Week 1–3 |
| 4. The story | Stuck payment, medical bill, customs fee, investment tip | Week 3+ |
| 5. The request | Small first, then escalating | After investment feels real |
Why stage 3 matters most
Isolation is the stage you can actually interrupt. Once the conversation leaves the platform, there is no moderation, no reporting, no message history and no account to ban. Every subsequent stage depends on it.
This is why a push to move to WhatsApp or Telegram in the first few messages should be treated as information rather than enthusiasm. A genuine person will happily keep talking where you are.
The variants that target gay and bisexual men specifically
- Outing as leverage. Threatening to tell your family, employer or community unless you pay. If you are not out, this is the whole product — see sextortion: what to do.
- The “stranded traveller”. Claims to be working abroad — offshore, military, oil — and therefore permanently unable to meet or video call.
- The investment friend. No romance request at all; instead a crypto or trading “opportunity” they are letting you in on.
- The arranged meet that needs funding. They will finally visit, but a ticket, visa or fee must be covered first.
Warning signs, in order of reliability
- Any request for money, gift cards, vouchers or cryptocurrency.
- Refuses a live video call while otherwise very engaged.
- Pushes off-platform within the first few messages.
- Emotional escalation far faster than the time invested justifies.
- Reverse image search finds their photos elsewhere.
- Circumstances that permanently prevent meeting, with reasons that change.
- Asks about your finances, savings or property early on.
The first one is sufficient on its own. See also how to spot a catfish.
If you have already sent money
- Contact your bank immediately. Under UK reimbursement rules speed matters; say clearly it was authorised push payment fraud.
- Report to Action Fraud (0300 123 2040) — it is the national reporting centre.
- Keep everything. Messages, profiles, payment references. Do not delete in embarrassment.
- Report the account on the platform so others are protected.
- Send nothing further. Not to recover funds, not to “release” a transfer, not to anyone offering to get it back for a fee.
The part people skip: it is not your fault
Romance fraud is run by organised groups using scripts refined over thousands of attempts. It targets ordinary judgement, not stupidity, and shame is the mechanism that keeps it unreported. Reporting is what makes the pattern visible and stops the account reaching the next person.
For support, Galop runs a free national LGBT+ helpline on 0800 999 5428 and deals with this regularly. Switchboard is also there if you want to talk it through first.
Frequently asked questions
What is romance fraud?
Building a fake relationship online in order to extract money. It follows a fixed sequence — contact, rapport, isolation off-platform, a story requiring funds, then escalating requests — and the money is deliberately never asked for early.
How do I know if someone is a romance scammer?
The reliable test is any request for money, gift cards or crypto from someone you have not met in person. Supporting signs are refusing a video call, pushing to move off-platform quickly, and circumstances that permanently prevent meeting.
What do I do if I’ve sent money?
Contact your bank immediately and report it as authorised push payment fraud, then report to Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040. Keep all evidence and send nothing further, including to anyone offering to recover it.
Can I get the money back?
Sometimes, depending on how it was sent and how fast you report. Bank transfers reported quickly have the best chance; gift cards and crypto are very difficult to recover. Speed is the main variable you control.
Are gay men targeted differently?
Yes — the additional lever is the threat of being outed, either as leverage or as the entire scam. If you are not out, that threat carries more weight, which is exactly why it is used.
Should I report it even if I lost nothing?
Yes. Reporting the account on the platform gets it removed before it reaches someone else, and reports to Action Fraud build the picture of how these operations work.